Favorite Guy

Favorite Episode

Some of your favorite quotes:

"I just looked at it and it blew up, Rick!"

"There will be no chaise lounge where you're going, my friend!"

"That's a really negative way to kill yourself you know. Like, I've tried that hundreds of times... there's no way you can hammer in
the last nail!"

"Oh, don't be such a spazmo, Neil!"

'Of course there isn't any room in it for you. Why should there be any room in it for you? I want to see you drown, and if I want to see you drown why should I build a submarine with room enough for you?"

"NEIL!! YOUR BEDROOM'S ON FIRE!!!"

"I've killed a hippie, and now I'll have to pay!"

"OH GOD!, I've got to stop sniffing this Ajax!"

"What happens when we want to play Monopoly? Go directly to plate? Do not pass plate nailed to the table by a stupid hippie?"

"Socks aren't vegetables, they should be wiped out!"

"Vyvyan, if you can't keep control of your socks you shant be allowed to have any."

"Carrot, could you ever love a cripple?"  "No, no I don't think so."

"Neil's deliberately scalded me!  I'll be disfigured for life!  I AM the elephant man!"

"Oh wow!  Do you think they really do make it out of babies?"

"Oh, no.....we'll probably all drown or be eaten by octopuses."

"Why don't you like me?"  "Because you're a complete and utter bastard."

"cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes cornflakes"

"Do ants go to discos?"   "No, I don't think so."  "Well, why is that one wearing a silver boob tube then?"

"I've got a leg" "Hey Vyv, that's not unusual." "No, I'm supposed to write an essay on it, but I think I'm just gonna stick it on the bonnet of my car."

"...grubbing about planting evidence of transvestisism so as to topple me from my position as most popular member of the flat!!!"

I haven't done any swatting, and you've done loads and loads!  Look at it!  Loads and loads and loads and loads!

"Beep beep beep... oh no heavy, the coins keep coming out. Beep beep beep... even the telephone hates me. Beep beep beep... I wish there were no machines and everyone led a... pastoral existence. Trees and flowers do not call you out and go beep in your ear."

"Why did you give your son a girls name?" 

"I'M VERY SOBER, AND VERY VERY BORED!!!"

"Quick! Vyvyan! Eat the telly!"

"You bunch of lavatory bowls!"

"Voice of youth?! They're still wearing flared trousers!"

"Yeah, my knickers are so old the stubborn understains are the only thing holding them together"

""No, I live on THE limit Vvyvyan, THE limit.  Because I'm a rider at the gates of dawn and I take no prisoners"

"Um... Look, I'll see you on the other side, okay, lads? This is really it, I'm going, okay?"

"It means something really heavy, like, there's no more telly"

"I suppose I have to sit on the rickety chair again..."

"Ha ha!  Missed both my legs!"

"You're a spade. I always call him that..."

"Shut up Rik, or I'm going to tell everyone you have an iron-on cartoon worm on the front of your Y-fronts that says Girl Bait"

"It's a video nasty."  "It's a carpet, Farty!"

"Hey, girls wanna see how many push-ups I can do?"

"Oh no.. bad karma."

"If anyone asks me that again I'm gonna bash their head through the window!" "Have we got a video?" "Wait right there."  (grabs window and smashes it though Neil's head) "But Vyvyan, I don't understand... Have we got a video or not?"

"I AM NOT GETTING AGGRESSIVE!"

"This is a friend of mine called Neil, this is a friend of mine called Mike, and this is a complete bastard I know called Rik"

"Well there's a horrible farty smell in here and it certainly isn't from my bottom!"

"Boom Shanka!"

"Nobody ever listens to me. I might as well be a Leonard Cohen record."

"Vyvyan!, have you been using my roll on deodorant?... There's a disgusting hair on it, and its not one of mine!!"

"Then we'll be dead, yet still alive... Like Leonard Cohen!"

"It's as if the kettle's killed itself rather than be used by me..."

"I've been down to the morgue!"

"Hands up!  Who likes me?"

"Did I say give you a big girly kiss on the bottom?  I meant STICK A PICK AXE THROUGH YOUR SPINAL COLUMN!"

"Want a game of Travel Scrabble, Death? Death? Want a game of Travel Scrabble?"

"Don't get all uncool and heavy"

"Look, there's a sign in that little white dot. It means something really heavy. It means, there's no more telly. Time to go to bed."

"The only reason you don't understand our music, is that you don't like it"

"This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence..."

"Oh no! Oh wow! Oh heavy, heavy, heavy..."

"Hello, Vyvyan." "Piss off!" "That's no way to talk to your mother, Vyvyan!" " Awroight then- Piss off, MUM." "That's better."

"Only pop music can save us now!"

"I tried to commit suicide by crucifying myself, but I couldnt figure out how to get the last nail in."

"Do you dig graves?" - "Yeah, they're allright,yeah."

"guys, dinner's on the floor if you want it"

"ooh, a present! and it's got a little mousey inside!!!"

"I baked a cake because it's my birthday and I'm having a party and you're all invited because you're my friends or you just pretend to be my friends... Well, you don't even pretend to be my friends, in fact you all hate me but it's my birthday and I'm having a party and I've baked a cake and...."

"By this time tomorrow they'll be no more racial predjudice or hatred. Get up Neil, I hate you!"

"Darling Facist Bullyboy, Give Me Some More Money you bastard. May the seed of your loin be fruitful in the belly of your woman, Neil"

"What's the best thing for a hangover?"   "Going out drinking heavily the night before."

"Oh no! The front door's exploded!"

"Oh look - a little girl!" (Futoumpch)

"Vegetable rights and peace!"

And my personal favorite of all time:

Vyv: "I'm gonna be violently and copiously sick."
Neil: "Go into like, vivid detail about the whole thing!"
Vyv: "I'm gonna bend over and open my mouth.  And I'm gonna wait until the muscles of my alimentary canal go into spasm...."